Five Unintentionally Hilarious Movie Scenes - Part 1

Over the next few days, I will be releasing five of my favorite Unintentionally Hilarious Movie Scenes, starting with the scene below. My end goal for this exercise is to have a complete and entertaining list-style article to submit to Cracked.com. That means I need comments, humorous or otherwise, that will help me refine the final article. Thanks in advance, Nate.

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1) Epic Spiderman Scream:

The Scene: This scene takes place towards the end of Spiderman 2, moments after the final battle between our hero Spiderman and his arch-nemesis Doctor Octopus. The good doctor, as villains will often do, has kidnapped Spidey's squeeze Mary Jane and brought her back to his evil lair, where he plans to keep her captive while he carries out his plans. This obviously upsets our hero because, really, who wants their girlfriend hanging out with a guy with eight arms? The dude is BOUND to get handsy at some point. So, understandably, Spidey gets pissed and goes to rescue her, fends off Doc Oc after a lengthy fight, and ends up here: with a giant wall about to crush his beloved Mary Jane. Enter The Scream.

Why It's Funny: I shouldn't even need to explain this one. The clip says it all. I do, however, have a couple questions I'd like answered:

1) How the hell is this what film crew settled on? Was Sam Raimi high on bath salts or something when they shot this scene? I mean, seriously, I understand budget constraints and all of that, but how could anyone have watched this and been like "Fuck yeah, that's the one! That's a wrap people!"? Were they even watching what was happening in front of them? Were they not concerned that Tobey Maguire had chosen to channel equal parts "Serena Williams crushing the shit out of a tennis ball" and "Goku finally going Super Saiyan" for his performance? Did anyone even care at that point? Now don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining. I'm all for Hollywood's negligence becoming the public's gain. I'd just like to know what was going through the crew's heads when they decided to completely ignore their jobs and allow this to make it into the movie.

2) On a similar note, how does Tobey Maguire feel about this scene? He must have had some kind of input, right? Do you think he thinks he just absolutely nailed it? Because that wouldn't surprise me in the least. Where you and I see an over-the-top explosion of throaty gurgles and high-pitched shrieking, he probably sees the truest form of emotion. Where we see excessive length and volume, he probably sees an impressive display of lung power. Whatever the case may be, I doubt he's hiding in shame from this. Hell, he probably has it on his Oscar reel, under the title of "The Pain of True Loss" or some other artsy shit like that. Fuckin' actors.

3) If both Maguire and the crew didn't see anything wrong with this, why didn't they take it a step further? Why not launch a massive viral marketing campaign centered on the artistry of the film and the majesty of Tobey Maguire's performance? You're telling me if Sony Pictures had decided to release a teaser trailer with just this scream on loop for thirty seconds, you wouldn't have been intrigued? Think about it! Think about the questions you'd have! You'd have no choice but to see the movie, if only to understand what the hell was up with the trailer. It'd be genius!

But why stop there? Why not take it even further? Why not stretch the scream out for the entire length of the film? They could work it from different angles, dress Tobey up in a bunch of funny hats and fake beards. They could swap Kirsten Dunst out for a bunch of inanimate objects that wouldn't make sense for Spiderman to get upset over, like a plate of waffles or some kid's Erector Set. The possibilities would be endless. And you know what? I'd watch that movie, and I'd laugh the whole time. Because the scream is funny, even if it wasn't supposed to be.