Work and March Madness

Hi all,

Just checking in to give everyone an update. I know I still owe Part 5 of my Five Unintentionally Hilarious Movie Moments (it's on its way, I promise!), as well as any other new content I can dig up, but I've been a little extra busy at work the past week and will be devoting a lot of my extra-curricular attention to the NCAA Tournament in the coming days, sooo there you go. Now, I know the golden rule is "No excuses, play like a champion", so instead of trying to justify my lull in activity, I'm simply going to apologize to all 25 or so of my loyal fans, haha.

I'm sorry. I'll have new stuff up soon. Hang in there.

I love you all,
Nate

A Holy Recommendation - John Chenesky's Ascend EP

The following is an article guest-written by the newly elected Pope Francis, whom I play pickup basketball with every Tuesday. Please treat him with the same respect you've all so graciously shown me. Thanks, Nate.

Greetings my children,

What a blessed day it is to be His Holiness, the Pope! As you can probably imagine, the past week has been a whirlwind for me, what with the papal conclave and all. I've endured ups and downs, highs and lows, screaming Cardinals and soothing prayer, and yet through it all one thing remained constant: my NEED for FEED (which is what I call my subconscious desire to constantly check my Twitter feed, lol). So anyway, Wednesday comes, I'm elected and whatnot, and I notice my boy @NateCalvanese blowing up my Twitter feed about some Ascend EP one of his friends dropped the very same day. Weird, right? An EP with the title Ascend is released the same day I ascend to the pinnacle of Holiness? That can't be coincidence, so I go to check it out.

Mind. Blown.

Have you people heard this thing yet? Because if you haven't, you seriously need to get on it. No lie, I only made it through like three tracks before I was out on the streets of Rome singing its praises. It's that good.

Everyone knows when the Pope smiles he means business.

Take it from someone who knows music. Back when I was a young man of only 65 or so, me and a couple of the other Cardinals used to play in heavy metal garage band called The Cardinal Rule. You may have heard our hit single "Do Unto Others." It's the one where we sing about smashing mailboxes and spray painting penises on people's cars--but only if they do it to you first! Anyway, I played bass and did a lot of the backing vocals in the band, so I know what I'm talking about here.

John Chernesky has talent, plain and simple. All you have to do is listen to one of his songs to see that. He uses a beautiful blend of melodies to create a rich ambience for every song on the album, with layers and layers of musical depth. Listen closely and you'll pick up on some of the more intricate details, like the addition of synthesized strings or the subtle use of his voice as an instrument in addition to the lead vocal track. The level of detail is amazing, and it doesn't take much for that to come across. It almost makes me wish we'd kept The Cardinal Rule going. I was almost ready to start writing for an acoustic album called "Whispers from the Confessional," but alas, it wasn't meant to be. I doubt it would've stood up next to John's work anyway.

I still think my album art was pretty badass though.

Moral of the story, you all need to go out and buy this dude's EP. It's available for a measly $5.94 at https://itunes.apple.com/us/album/ascend-ep/id619994464 and is guaranteed to leave you satisfied. What else are you going to do with those six dollars anyway? Buy a foot-long Subway sub that's not even really a foot long? I don't think so. If you're looking for a great deal that is honest and actually great (unlike a five dollar foot-long), check out John Chernesky's Ascend EP. You won't be disappointed. Trust me, I'm the pope.

Oh, and thanks for checking out my boy's blog.

PEACE!

Sincerely,
His Holiness, Pope Francis

Five Unintentionally Hilarious Movie Scenes - Part 4

Over the next few days, I will be releasing five of my favorite Unintentionally Hilarious Movie Scenes. My end goal for this exercise is to have a complete and entertaining list-style article to submit to Cracked.com. That means I need comments, humorous or otherwise, that will help me refine the final article. Thanks in advance, Nate.

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Five Unintentionally Hilarious Movie Scenes - Part 3

Over the next few days, I will be releasing five of my favorite Unintentionally Hilarious Movie Scenes. My end goal for this exercise is to have a complete and entertaining list-style article to submit to Cracked.com. That means I need comments, humorous or otherwise, that will help me refine the final article. Thanks in advance, Nate.

Article placed after jump to decrease home page bandwidth...

Five Unintentionally Hilarious Movie Scenes - Part 2

Over the next few days, I will be releasing five of my favorite Unintentionally Hilarious Movie Scenes. My end goal for this exercise is to have a complete and entertaining list-style article to submit to Cracked.com. That means I need comments, humorous or otherwise, that will help me refine the final article. Thanks in advance, Nate.

Article placed after jump to decrease home page bandwidth...

Five Unintentionally Hilarious Movie Scenes - Part 1

Over the next few days, I will be releasing five of my favorite Unintentionally Hilarious Movie Scenes, starting with the scene below. My end goal for this exercise is to have a complete and entertaining list-style article to submit to Cracked.com. That means I need comments, humorous or otherwise, that will help me refine the final article. Thanks in advance, Nate.

Article placed after jump to decrease home page bandwidth...

The Power of Google

Back when I was in college, I had the worst possible thing happen to me: my TV broke. As you can imagine, I was pretty devastated. I didn't know what I was supposed to do without the ability to play video games between classes or watch the now-defunct UConn movie channel while I did my homework (RIP old friend). I still had the gym and dining hall, I suppose, but you can only lift and eat so much before its time to head home and veg out on the couch. (As a side note: have you ever tried sitting on your couch without any form of entertainment? I'm talking no TV, no laptop, no book, no magazine, no tablet, etc. It's pretty weird. Just sayin'.)

Anyway, back to my story. So my TV broke and I didn't know what to do. I didn't have the money to buy a new one or have it shipped off somewhere to be repaired; hell, I barely had enough money to do my laundry at that point. Instead, I did the only thing I could think of...I turned to Google.

I like to imagine this guy showed up to help me.

Google is truly an amazing thing. I think because it seems so simple and because we all throw the term "Google it" around so liberally, people tend to forget just how powerful it really is. Any problem you've ever had, big or small, has happened to someone else at some point in time, and chances are they've posted about it online. All you need to do is a little research, and more often than not you'll find an article or a forum post directly addressing your issue. For me, all I had to do was Google "TV picture dark but can still hear sound, Dell monitor" to find out that the type of TV I had (a converted HD Dell monitor) tended to have an issue where the backlight would burn out after a certain period of time. Digging a little deeper, I found a technical forum where a guy took the time to show people how to fix this problem on their own, step by step with pictures. From there, all I had to do was order the part I needed, follow this guy's instructions, and voila: my TV was fixed for the low price of $8. I was blown away.

Ever since then, I've used Google to solve virtually any problem I've run into. Car making a weird noise? Google it. Have a tiny lump on the roof of your mouth after you eat? Google it. Can't remember where you left your keys? Google it. (Okay, so maybe it can't help you solve EVERY problem in your life...but it's close!)

You can even use Google to find Google. Warning: May collapse universe.

Even things that should be complex and out of my league have become doable with the help of Google. I recently solved an issue I was having with my Xbox where it wouldn't hook up to the internet because it didn't want to connect to the standard Xfinity Gateway set up at my house. Now, I still have no idea what things like "Port-Triggering", "DCHP", "Demilitarized Zone", and "Bridged Network" mean, but I have functioning internet on my Xbox because I Googled the problem I was having and followed the advice of people who'd been through the same thing. I didn't even need to fully understand the problem to fix it! How great is that!?

Anyway, moral of the story: if you have a problem, you should absolutely take the time to Google it before spending any time or money on a professional or some form of customer service. Chances are, someone out there has had the same problem as you and has either found a way to fix it or can let you know what your next steps need to be. Knowledge is power, people, and the internet is filled to the brim with the stuff. Take the time to use it. I promise you won't be disappointed.

So, with that, let's all lift a glass to the power of Google (or your desk flask if you're at work). Let's take a moment to appreciate our thankless hero, to pay our respects to this truly life-changing creation. Here's to you, Google! May you never become self-aware!

-Nate